Musings of a Mildly Maddened Mind

nateswinehart:

Being good to each other is so important, guys.

rainbowreverie21:

chickenyaoi:

America is some fucked up dystopian shit honestly like how are y’all even surviving? Paying for healthcare? $60,000 on tuition? POC getting shot in Wal-Marts? White men shooting up elementary schools? That’s terrifying I’m worried about all of you

America doesn’t seem that terribly horrible when you live here day to day and you’ve known nothing else but when somebody says something like this it fucks you up really good.

siouxerz:

peachberrylove:

kill-dorothy:

I think this video might interest you guys.

4 days ago, Olivia Olson confirmed that Marceline and Bonnibel have dated before. The reason it has been confirmed is because the new Adventure Time book coming out soon may have details on their relationship, and their relationship obviously can’t be aired on TV because some states of America (and countries in the world) are against same-sex marriage and relationships. 

But yeah, they have indeed dated before.

Can we also talk about official Bubbline art drawn by Natasha Allgeri, former character designer and story board artist for Adventure Time, and now Showrunner of Bee and Puppy Cat!?

*internal screaming*

MY HEARTTTTTTTT

Make the first move, tell people how you feel, stop being so scared of rejection, stop feeling so engulfed with thoughts that aren’t even yours, and stop wasting your fucking time.
what i needed to hear  (via unmaiden)
rightwingtoday:

thegbox:

No, no and no. REBLOG this please, this shouldn’t be allowed and we need to spread the word to everybody about this injustice!
The actual news article: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2726219/Yasmin-Thomas-victim-disgusted-walked-free.html

It’s time for all countries to stand up and say no more special treatment based on gender, race or sexual orientation.

rightwingtoday:

thegbox:

No, no and no. REBLOG this please, this shouldn’t be allowed and we need to spread the word to everybody about this injustice!

The actual news article: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2726219/Yasmin-Thomas-victim-disgusted-walked-free.html

It’s time for all countries to stand up and say no more special treatment based on gender, race or sexual orientation.

willin0ise:

eviehartley:

theladycheeky:

.@Stoya can’t give talks in high schools, because she makes porn films. If she could, here’s what she’d say about respecting other people’s boundaries during sex.
A person’s first condom, strap-on, or lacy thong doesn’t come with a pamphlet explaining active consent. Tampon companies don’t print statements on the back of their boxes encouraging teenagers to express their desires and ask for the desires of their sexual partners. Someone should do something about this. It would be extremely inappropriate for me to march into high schools and begin expounding upon communication, respecting other people’s limits, and taking responsibility for expressing your own. What I can do is expound upon some basic guidelines on the internet and hope the core concepts trickle down. 
So, here they are: 
1. Ask the people you will be having sex with what their preferences and limits are. This fosters active consent and encourages communication. 
2. In order for a sexual partner to be able to give you what you want, you have to tell them what your desires are. A sexual partner can’t respect your limits if you don’t express them. 
3. It is completely OK to retract your consent during a sex act. You can say that something is more intense than you thought it would be and you are no longer OK with it. If you do not speak up your partner(s) have no guaranteed way of knowing that you are unhappy or uncomfortable. 
4. If a sexual partner says something hurts, uses a “safe word” or other signal to communicate that they want the sexual interaction to stop, or just looks unhappy, freaked out, or generally not OK, you need to stop what you’re doing and check in with them.
5. If your partner(s) are drunk or high, their ability to consent is questionable. If they’ve previously expressed distaste for anal sex and are slurring “Fuck my asshole” you should politely decline and bring the subject up later when they’re sober. This applies to any sexual act that you have not previously engaged in with this person. 
6. As a general rule, don’t penetrate an orifice, pee, vomit, or bleed on someone, or slap them around without discussing the act first. 
7. If your sexual partner(s) express a limit or ask for something to stop and you do not respect it, you are stepping onto a scale that ranges from “jerk” to “full-on rapist”. Personally, I don’t want to be on that scale at all, and I don’t want to engage in sexual activity with anyone who does hang out on that scale. 
8. If one of your sexual partners steps on to the jerk-to-full-on rapist scale, call them out on it. You have the right to end the sexual activity you are engaged in and to decline sexual activity with them in the future. There you are. If any condom companies want to use those bits on their wrappers, hit me up.
-Stoya
Originally published in: New Statesman.To read the entire article, CLICK below:
http://www.newstatesman.com/voices/2014/01/if-you-dont-want-say-no-porn-stars-guide-sexual-consent
Follow Stoya on Tumblr: http://stoya.tumblr.com
Follow Stoya on Twitter: @stoya​
Follow Stoya on Instagram: http://instagram.com/stoya

Fuck I love her

Not too long ago I had someone laughing at me for asking so many questions and stuff and they said they appreciated it but it was strange to them. I felt bad just because it was very obvious that no one ever took her safety/pleasure into consideration.

willin0ise:

eviehartley:

theladycheeky:

.@Stoya can’t give talks in high schools, because she makes porn films. If she could, here’s what she’d say about respecting other people’s boundaries during sex.

A person’s first condom, strap-on, or lacy thong doesn’t come with a pamphlet explaining active consent. Tampon companies don’t print statements on the back of their boxes encouraging teenagers to express their desires and ask for the desires of their sexual partners. Someone should do something about this. It would be extremely inappropriate for me to march into high schools and begin expounding upon communication, respecting other people’s limits, and taking responsibility for expressing your own. What I can do is expound upon some basic guidelines on the internet and hope the core concepts trickle down. 

So, here they are: 

1. Ask the people you will be having sex with what their preferences and limits are. This fosters active consent and encourages communication. 

2. In order for a sexual partner to be able to give you what you want, you have to tell them what your desires are. A sexual partner can’t respect your limits if you don’t express them. 

3. It is completely OK to retract your consent during a sex act. You can say that something is more intense than you thought it would be and you are no longer OK with it. If you do not speak up your partner(s) have no guaranteed way of knowing that you are unhappy or uncomfortable. 

4. If a sexual partner says something hurts, uses a “safe word” or other signal to communicate that they want the sexual interaction to stop, or just looks unhappy, freaked out, or generally not OK, you need to stop what you’re doing and check in with them.

5. If your partner(s) are drunk or high, their ability to consent is questionable. If they’ve previously expressed distaste for anal sex and are slurring “Fuck my asshole” you should politely decline and bring the subject up later when they’re sober. This applies to any sexual act that you have not previously engaged in with this person. 

6. As a general rule, don’t penetrate an orifice, pee, vomit, or bleed on someone, or slap them around without discussing the act first. 

7. If your sexual partner(s) express a limit or ask for something to stop and you do not respect it, you are stepping onto a scale that ranges from “jerk” to “full-on rapist”. Personally, I don’t want to be on that scale at all, and I don’t want to engage in sexual activity with anyone who does hang out on that scale. 

8. If one of your sexual partners steps on to the jerk-to-full-on rapist scale, call them out on it. You have the right to end the sexual activity you are engaged in and to decline sexual activity with them in the future. There you are. If any condom companies want to use those bits on their wrappers, hit me up.

-Stoya

Originally published in: New Statesman.
To read the entire article, CLICK below:

http://www.newstatesman.com/voices/2014/01/if-you-dont-want-say-no-porn-stars-guide-sexual-consent

Follow Stoya on Tumblr: http://stoya.tumblr.com

Follow Stoya on Twitter: @stoya

Follow Stoya on Instagram: http://instagram.com/stoya

Fuck I love her

Not too long ago I had someone laughing at me for asking so many questions and stuff and they said they appreciated it but it was strange to them. I felt bad just because it was very obvious that no one ever took her safety/pleasure into consideration.

A few months back, I was asked to participate in a debate on the topic of whether men should have to pay on dates. (I was “the feminist.”) It turned out that the male debater and I didn’t really disagree much on that topic. I said that, generally, whoever asks the other person out pays for that date, and then at some point couples generally transition into sharing costs in whatever way works for them. He was actually pretty happy to pay for first dates; he just wanted women to say thank you and to not use him. I had no problem with that.

I think he said that women should offer to pay half, knowing they’ll probably be turned down. I said, well, sometimes — but what if the other person invited you someplace really expensive? What if you agreed to a date with the guy and he spent an hour saying crazy racist shit to you and you felt like you couldn’t escape? This is what led to our real disagreement.

The male debater felt strongly that if a woman wasn’t interested in a second date, she should say so on the spot. If the man says, “Let’s do this again sometime,” the woman shouldn’t say, “Sure, great,” and then back out later. I said that that was a nice ideal, but that he should keep in mind that most women spent most of their lives living in low-level fear of physical aggression from men. I think about avoiding rape (or other violence) every time I walk home from the subway, every time there’s an unexpected knock at the door, and certainly every time I piss off an unhinged man. So, if I were on a date with a man who I felt was unbalanced, creepy, overly aggressive, or possibly violent, and he asked if I wanted to “do this again sometime,” I would say whatever I felt would avoid conflict. And then I would leave, wait awhile, and hope that letting him down politely a few days later would avoid his finding me and turning my skin into an overcoat.

The male debater was furious that I had even brought this up. He felt that the threat of violence against women was irrelevant, and that I was playing some kind of “rape card” as a debate trick. He got angrier and angrier as we argued. I also got angrier and angrier, although I worked hard to keep speaking in a calm and considered way. He was shouting and cutting me off when I tried to speak. I pointed out that the debater himself was displaying exactly the sort of behavior that would make me very uncomfortable on a date. THAT made him livid.

He then called me “passive-aggressive.”

I was genuinely taken aback. “Actually,” I said, “I call this ‘behaving myself.’” It’s a lot of work to stay calm when you’re just as furious as the other person, and that other person is shouting at you. I felt that I was acting like a grownup — at some emotional cost to myself — and I wanted credit, not insults, for being able to speak in a normal tone of voice when I was having to explain things like, “We can’t tell who the rapists are before they turn violent, so sometimes we have to be cautious with men who do not intend to harm us.”

annadrawspictures:

whoops

my finger slipped

You can’t keep dancing with the devil and ask why you’re still in hell
Something my friend told me the other day (via dolly-kitten)
The Buddhists say if you meet somebody and your heart pounds, your hands shake, your knees go weak, that’s not the one. When you meet your ‘soul mate’ you’ll feel calm. No anxiety, no agitation
(via 1112pm)